I hate cell phones. Walk down a busy street or stand in line at your local neighborhood Chipotle or Subway, and here’s what you’ll hear:
[Random college-aged glitter girl]: Oh, not even… I so broke up with him. Anyway, I met this new guy the other day and this weekend we’re…
[Hopeless, semi-suicidal middle manager]: Honey I told you I’ll be home a little late tonight, my boss is really riding me on this monthly budget report. We need milk again? Yes, dear I’ll pick it up.
[College-aged male goofball]: Duuuuuuuude….
Additionally, there’s usually one person talking loud and laughing every three seconds, making life very painful. My favorite is when someone just decides to pull out his phone and loudly say “no, no, Jim’s got the meth lab this weekend, I’m running to NYC to talk to our guy…”, just to see who will pay attention.
If you too are sick and tired of listening to people take their private conversations into the public square, an evil weapon has been devised just for you: the cell phone jammer.
Unsuspecting cellphone users may find themselves saying that more often now that cellphone jammers — illegal gizmos that interfere with signals and cut off reception — are selling like hotcakes on the streets of New York.
“I bought one online, and I love it,” said one jammer owner fed up with the din of dumb conversations and rock-and-roll ringtones.
“I use it on the bus all the time. I always zap the idiots who discuss what they want from the Chinese restaurant so that everyone can hear them. Why is that necessary?”
He added, “I can’t throw the phones out the window, so this is the next best thing.”
Online jammer seller Victor McCormack said he’s made “hundreds of sales” to New Yorkers.
“The interest has gone insane in the last few years. I get all sorts of people buying them, from priests to police officers.”
Cell phones are often used by people on the street as a way to get people’s attention. Listen to me, my life is so important. For those who don’t want to rely on the goodwill of their fellow men and women to exercise restraint with the cell phone, the jammer arrives like manna from heaven.
But don’t expect to find jammers at the local Radio Shack — they’re against Federal Communications Commission regulations because they interfere with emergency calls and the public airwaves. They are illegal to buy, sell, use, import or advertise.
A violation means an $11,000 fine, but the FCC’s Enforcement Bureau has yet to bust one person anywhere in the country.
“This is not a crime that they’re going after,” said Rob Bernstein, deputy editor at New York City-based Sync magazine.
It’s probably not a crime they are going after at the moment, but as jammer prices fall (they are currently generally no cheaper than $250 per unit) and their use increases, someone will have to do something. I personally would favor seeing legislation passed that outlaws talking on cell phones on public transportation. If people need to communicate, they should use silent things like text messaging. People are trying to work on the train into work in the morning, and need quiet to be productive. It’s a drag on the whole economy to have that productive time ruined by loudmouths.
Nathan Novak at 1:21 pm
